I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
