im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
