the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
