Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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