At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
