Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
