Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
