My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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