Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I fill condoms, not promises.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
