id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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