Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
