I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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