Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
