I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
