apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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