never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Randomize
