what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
