You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
