the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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