Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I would fuck him just for his dog
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
