Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
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