You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
