There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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