You're so nebulous sometimes
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
