she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Randomize
