Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Randomize
