where am i from again
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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