my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
