I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
