You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Randomize