she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I want to fling myself into the sun
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize