I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
God gave him joint rollers for hands
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize