i permit you to call me
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I'm passing your future prison.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Randomize
