then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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