it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
