Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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