Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
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Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
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The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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