Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
