weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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