I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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