i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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