WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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