So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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