literally had 100 drinks last night.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders