Texts From Last Night

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  (571): View more from Virginia

  so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare

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  (571): so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare http://tfl.nu/r7bv
  Replies (21) Good night (4323) Bad night (707)
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  (551): View more from New Jersey

  Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"

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  (551): Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead (201): NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it" http://tfl.nu/4pzt
  Replies (85) Good night (4945) Bad night (1138)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day

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  (817): Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day http://tfl.nu/cyg4
  Replies (16) Good night (959) Bad night (3634)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick

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  (405): The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick http://tfl.nu/0oxs
  Replies (12) Good night (1094) Bad night (4115)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.

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  (+44): I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life. http://tfl.nu/7cvo
  Replies (21) Good night (8718) Bad night (835)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  he thanks me after handjobs.

  (1-203): View more from Connecticut

  you found the perfect man.

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  (203): he thanks me after handjobs. (1-203): you found the perfect man. http://tfl.nu/eh9t
  Replies (43) Good night (5098) Bad night (1122)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.

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  (618): There's an australian, my relationship has no hope. http://tfl.nu/z5vt
  Replies (20) Good night (2974) Bad night (1344)
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  (760): View more from California

  searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this

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  (760): searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this http://tfl.nu/chn0
  Replies (10) Good night (3156) Bad night (1422)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it

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  (509): i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it http://tfl.nu/wiu8
  Replies (29) Good night (7019) Bad night (1338)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".

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  (416): Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves". http://tfl.nu/iji3
  Replies (9) Good night (2754) Bad night (815)
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought

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  (318): Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought http://tfl.nu/rg7p
  Replies (11) Good night (2070) Bad night (797)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.

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  (541): I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house. http://tfl.nu/7lqp
  Replies (6) Good night (1166) Bad night (451)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.

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  (540): I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day. http://tfl.nu/r0vt
  Replies (6) Good night (1161) Bad night (413)
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  (334): View more from Alabama

  We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"

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  (334): We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!" http://tfl.nu/8nad
  Replies (4) Good night (1614) Bad night (628)
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  (518): View more from New York

  i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself

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  (518): i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself http://tfl.nu/xmm2
  Replies (2) Good night (342) Bad night (225)

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