dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
did you just send me my own nude