took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."