I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.