The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
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should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
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and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
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