Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(408): View more from California

i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.

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(303): View more from Colorado

I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.

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27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Read it at the TFLN blog
(780): View more from Alberta, CA

there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job

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(201): View more from New Jersey

dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla

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(928): View more from Arizona

You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?

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(860): View more from Connecticut

I have jury duty tomorrow

(207): View more from Maine

I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.

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