Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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