Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
