There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i just google imaged poop.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
