Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
