u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
We talked him into tasing himself.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Randomize
