I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
