this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize