We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I just had sex on a roof
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
