i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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