This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
