Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
