I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
