My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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