Define "chronic" masturbator.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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