Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
We're too hungover to prance.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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