explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Randomize
