My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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