How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
