So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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