I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
