i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
