My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
